Deck the halls with Screaming Brothers
by Argentum Sol
Summary: Christmas, joy, food, happiness, MISTLETOE, Touya, and various other holiday horrors. You'll find them all here. Come in for some free Eggnog... Not that I've ever had EggNog...


Before we begin, I would like to note that I have never seen a sprig of mistletoe in my life. I would also like to point out that the lyrics (except for the 'Fa la etc') is mine. So yes, suckage rights go to moi.

**Deck the halls with Screaming brothers.**

_Deck the halls with screaming brothers,_

_Fa la la la la la la la la_

_Terrorize them with your lovers,_

_Fa la la la la la la la la_

_Ancestors all are supreme_

_Fa la la la la la la la la_

_Try burning them and hear them scream,_

_Fa la la la la la la la la!_

-Christmas advice™

I sat at the kitchen table, slightly terrified. This was not the way I'd have liked to spend Christmas Eve.

Christmas time had come 'round. That magical time of the year when all your money disappears. Relatives that you can avoid for the rest of the year barge into your home, destroying everything in their path. It's a time of joy and happiness. Of Santa and Reindeer. The time of Pine trees, Pudding, presents, snow and…

Mistletoe. 

Sure, Our family had never really been fanatical about mistletoe. We'd never hung it by doorways, or tricked people we didn't like with it. In fact, the first time I'd ever seen a piece of mistletoe was when Eriol had been courting Tomoyo. Then, of course, the second time I'd seen it was when he was trying to make me think that Syaoran was courting _me_.

Tomoyo had been very pleased. Syaoran had been very pissed.

I almost giggled at the memory of Eriol's horrified look when he woke up with a slimy, scaly green tail and a shell bikini. 

Touya's face was pushed close to mine and I jumped back.

"_What_ is so funny about the Gaki having his way with you?" Touya demanded, waving the sprig of mistletoe in my face for effect. Touya had become increasingly unstable after he caught Syaoran and I kissing on the front porch. We'd been very good at hiding our progressing relationship until then.

"Uh… Nothing, Touya. I just… uh…" I stammered. I had never been good at lying. Eriol had offered to give me lessons, but that was when Syaoran had been around and he had almost murdered Eriol on the spot. 

"Good. That's what I thought. Now, to make sure you were listening, a quiz. What is this?" Touya gestured to the sprig of mistletoe that he was holding in a gloved hand. At the beginning of his little lesson, he had removed the plant from its box with tweezers and antiseptic spray. 

"It's a sprig of mistletoe," I answered dutifully. 

"And what is mistletoe?" 

"A plant," I responded. 

Touya's hand whacked the table next to where my elbow was resting. I jumped back, not really frightened quite yet. 

"EVIL EVIL EVIL! Mistletoe was created by the devil himself! You are to go nowhere near it in case you catch its evilness!" Touya shrieked as his cheeks turned pink and his eye started to twitch. "This one has been sterilized," he added smugly as an afterthought. 

I nodded frantically. It was the only thing to do at a time like this. I couldn't run, after all. His belt was made of leather and the steel frame of the chair couldn't be broken. "Yes, it's evil and I must stay away from it!" Just to spite him, I added the thought, "Unless I'm around Syaoran, who is brave and wonderful and intelligent and kind…" I drifted off. 

Touya was glaring at me, the most heated glare I've ever seen him give. It scared me. Really scared me. 

"Um, Touya? I… uh… Dad said that you had to be respectful of me and my choice of boyfr-" Touya flew across the room and covered my mouth with his hand and looked generally outraged. He hated me saying that Syaoran was my boyfriend, so I repeated it as much as I could. 

"Sakura, he is going to hurt you, and then I am going to hurt him," Touya repeated. He said this every time I left the house, mentioned Syaoran or even the male of my species in general. 

"Right Touya. I know. Now, can I go? I'm going to Tomoyo's. We're going to have a girl's night in and give gifts and stuff like that." 

I saw the familiar look on his face and added, "And not with Syaoran, anyway. It'll be just girls." 

Touya looked slightly less edgy, and knelt down to remove the belt from around my legs. "Remember what I said about Mistletoe, and keep away from the Gaki."

I ran for the door, grabbed my bag of presents and shouted out a quick, "As always," before arriving outside. I ran to the curb and started walking towards Tomoyo's house. 

I hadn't lied to Touya, I thought desperately as I made my way. Tomoyo had only ever said that she was inviting the girls, although she had over implied that she was inviting the boys too. 

I was going to be late now. I had been running to schedule before Touya had chained me to the Kitchen chair, but that also allowed for time to get there early to try on Tomoyo's latest creation. Now, I was running ten minutes late, and Tomoyo would kill me. 

I arrived at the gate to her colossal mansion. I pressed my thumb to the small square near the letterbox and said my name. The gates opened and I sprinted up. 

Tomoyo was waiting on her porch, hands on hips. I couldn't help but notice that she was in a slimmer version of a Mrs. Claus outfit, and so drew the conclusion that Eriol was somewhere nearby giving kids nightmares about Santa roasting _people_ on an open fire.

"Where _have_ you been?" She asked. "Syaoran has already arrived and you haven't gotten changed! If it weren't a Christmas Party, I'd ram this pointy hat-"

Luckily for me, she glanced back inside. 

"Oh, Hi Syaoran! No, no it's not anyone interesting. No, Sakura still hasn't turned up. No, I'm sure she'll arrive soon; you don't need to go looking for her… Oh, is he? Well, I'll have a talk with him…" At this point, Tomoyo started mumbling obscenely under her breath. I assumed that Syaoran left to make sure that everyone was still breathing because Tomoyo hurried me inside, shut the door and bustled me upstairs. 

Half an hour later, I emerged in the nicest Christmas outfit I'd ever seen. It was a long dress, with long sleeves and a not-too-revealing collar line. The nice thing about it was that it was patched with Red and Green silk, which was covered by a thinner lighter shade. It was a lovely dress and Tomoyo assured me that everyone else was wearing something equally festive. 

As I entered the ballroom, the first thing I noticed was Eriol and Syaoran, but first was Eriol. Eriol was quite literally shutting out Syaoran's body. He was in a typical Santa suit and hat, and held that typical red sack filled with toys and goodies. The problem was that his sack seemed to have very alive toys and very hungry goodies. Naoko was looking at it in fear as she hesitantly poked it. It growled at her. Eriol also, thanks to some pretty easy magic, was now one hundred and fifty pounds heavier and sported a couple of thousand extra gray hairs. 

Syaoran, on the other hand, was dressed in a large green sweater with a picture of a piece of Holly sown into it. He would laugh at Eriol, Eriol would use his extra flatulence to knock Syaoran to the other side of the room, Syaoran would return, take a look at Eriol and the process would start all over again. 

Eriol spotted me and, instead of waving or saying hello, knocked a glee Syaoran my way. I grabbed hold of his jumper and gave him a peck on the cheek in greeting. Syaoran's grin broadened. 

"Hello Sakura!"

"Hello yourself. You look like your enjoying yourself." 

I was actually very pleased. He rarely showed this much enthusiasm to anything. 

"Oh, I'm keeping this all locked away so I can tell his children this one day." He held up a camera. 

"Sneaky," I said before Eriol joined us and Syaoran evaporated the Camera. 

"Hello dear Sakura. My, you look splendid. Doesn't she Syaoran?" This was a habit of Eriol's, retained from when he was trying to get us together. He would comment and then ask Syaoran's opinion. Syaoran would blush, stutter and eventually run away. 

"She looks wonderful. She managed to resist all those candy canes too, eh my rather large ancestor?" Syaoran joked. 

"Ah yes, but one must enjoy life's sweet pleasures! Ta-ta!" 

With that, Eriol plodded off and Tomoyo approached us. She looked at Eriol longingly and informed me, "You need to put any presents you bought under the tree. We're going to open them at midnight." 

I gave her a brief nod and rushed up to her room, Syaoran in tow. I found my bag and started to search through it as Syaoran leaned against the doorframe. Aha! Found them! Let's see… Chiharu, Yamazaki, Tomoyo, Eriol, Naoko, Rika…They were all there. But Syaoran, where's Syaoran's?

"Syaoran! I left yours at home because Touya found out which one yours was and tried to… uh… hurt it, so I hid it. Want to join me on the perilous journey to my house to get it?" 

I grabbed the presents that I had brought and faced him. 

"Of course. Why wouldn't I want Touya in my face yelling at me to stay out of your pants?" 

I blinked at him. "Does that mean you're coming, or was the blatant sarcasm meant to deter me from inviting you?" 

"I'm coming, but I'm staying outside." 

I sighed, relieved. I stood up, handed some of the presents to Syaoran and walked out of the room.

"That's fine with me. Want to guess why I was late?" I dared Syaoran.

"Uh, he locked you in your room and lectured you on my evils?" 

"Close. He tied me to a chair and gave me a heart to heart." 

Syaoran grinned, anticipating the joke. The holidays season seemed to have made him that much happier. 

"On Mistletoe."

He burst into laughter. It made my heart light and I grinned at him.

We placed my presents at the foot of the tree, informed Tomoyo that we'd be back ("Don't do anything I wouldn't do!") and left. Once we were out of the gates, Syaoran offered me his arm and we strode down the street, happy as festive clams. 

Syaoran's grip on my arm tightened slightly as we reached my house. I didn't care to find out whether he was anticipating a good fight, or actually scared. I rushed into the house and darted upstairs, praying to any deities up above that Touya wouldn't hear me. I threw myself to the floor and shimmied under my bed. I lifted up the floorboard. Harry Potter inspired this particular hiding spot. As I had just grabbed Syaoran's present and was about to make a run for it, Touya opened my door and yelled, "The stupid Gaki dumped, you didn't he?!" 

I was scared; Touya was grinning. As I made my way downstairs, Touya followed me, ranting.

"I told you didn't I? Don't trust him I said! Didn't I say that?! It was like talking to a brick wall! But now you know! The good for nothing Gaki got bored of you and now-"

His abrupt halt was caused by two things. The first, and least important was that Syaoran was revealed when I opened the front door. The second, and probably what did it, was when I magicked up a sprig of Mistletoe above Syaoran's head and went in for the kill. We kissed for a while until a loud thump brought us back to earth. 

Touya had shown various signs of being mortally ill. First, he had gone red in the face, which soon progressed onto an ugly purple. He then began stuttering nonsense. This proceeded to him foaming at the mouth and he fainted. 

We decided, even though I would be banned from leaving the house afterwards, that we should follow the path to the greater good: Syaoran's health.

After the nice sprint back to Tomoyo's, we paused for breath and Syaoran looked at his small wrapped present and asked me, "Can I open it now?"

I grinned at him and stepped inside, instantly being knocked outside again by Syaoran's rather obese ancestor. I tumbled into Syaoran and we were both knocked off the porch when Eriol bent down to pick up Syaoran's present. We dusted ourselves off once he was safely inside and the Ho-ho-hos had ended. I was greatly relieved to remember that I had put shields up to prevent Eriol changing my present into something horrible like last year. For any curious few, when I opened my present from Syaoran last year, I found a packet of condoms. That was, before Syaoran dangled Eriol off a convenient cliff until he changed it back. We got to keep the condoms though.

I chuckled when I felt Eriol trying to break through the shields.

We (that is, Syaoran and I) walked into the Lounge room to discover that a few changes had been made to the decorations. 

All doorways were now covered in Mistletoe, (And, in fact, most of the ceiling was too) and security cameras watched every inch of the room. A large Christmas tree sat in one corner, presents piled underneath it. Yamazaki was busy telling Naoko about Festive Ghosts; Naoko lapped it up. Rika and Chiharu were taking it in turns to push Eriol's Santa sack outside. They had to do this quickly as the things inside seemed to be very violent. Tomoyo and Eriol stood under some Mistletoe. The situation was extremely comical. Much like earlier, whenever someone came within a metre of Eriol, his flatulence would bump him or her away. Tomoyo was no exception. After a few tries, Tomoyo opted for sitting on Eriol's large stomach and reaching his mouth that way. 

I gingerly walked across the room, avoiding any and all Mistletoe. Syaoran followed grinning, waiting for me to slip up. I finally reached Chiharu and Rika, who had both decided to take a break after The Sack had shot fire at them. 

"That four-eyed freak brought Alcohol, didn't he?" Syaoran said, scowling. 

"Nah, just his pot," Tomoyo chimed in, apparently finished with her examination of Eriol's mouth. 

She gained the superior voice of a confident host as she announced, "Right then, Ladies and Gentlemen. Now that our two escapees have returned from their romantic interlude, we may journey to the Dining room for dinner."

"'Romantic interlude'?" Syaoran muttered in disbelief. "I'd hate to see what she classifies as traumatizing." 

"Eriol in store bought female undergarments?" I suggested. Syaoran shuddered. 

"Never say that again."

"Gotcha."

"Ever." 

We proceeded into the Dining room, where I was seated between Tomoyo and Syaoran. Everyone's eyes grew wide as plate after plate of delicious food was carried in by waiters. 

We dined and talked and shared very, very bad cracker jokes. 

"Here, Syaoran! Pull!" I squealed gleefully. I held out my cracker in delight as Syaoran dutifully clutched the other end. I tugged and Syaoran held on. Syaoran won it; he even looked a little surprised. Giggling, I folded out his hat and plopped it on his head, where it promptly fell down. He straightened it and picked up his Cracker joke. Before he got a chance to read it, however, I had already grabbed his cracker, determined to win this one. He grabbed the other end and tugged. The cracker ripped at both ends, and the parcel containing cheap toy, joke and hat flew across the table and hit Eriol's red nose. 

I reached across the table to pluck it out of his food when Syaoran stopped me. He grabbed my hand and pulled it back before taking the hat off his head and placing it on mine. I blushed a little, but tried to give it back.

"It's okay Sakura. The freak probably drugged his food. I'm not taking that risk." With that said, he grabbed Yamazaki's cracker and won it. I stared as he placed the hat on his head and raised my eyebrow again. Syaoran coughed in embarrassment. He reached over my hand to grab his joke. His eyebrows furrowed as he read it. A moment late he let out, "That's not funny."

"Oh, come on, Syaoran! Read it out!" 

Everyone's eyes turned to Syaoran and he coughed nervously. 

"Uh… okay. What happened to the man who got a job as a human cannonball?"

Everyone groaned, apparently having heard this one before. Trying to make him feel more comfortable, I replied with a smile, "I don't know, Syaoran, what happened to the man who got a job as a human cannonball?" 

"He got fired on his first day." 

Groans were exchanged, and Eriol let out a "Ho ho ho!"

Trying to avoid any more jokes, I opened my toy and stared. 

It was a little bird. 

A very little bird. 

A Very little, very alive bird. 

There was a dull thump.

Well, a very little bird, at the very least.

"Eriol! Why'd you kill it?"

I shoved a piece of turkey into Syaoran's mouth to halt the insult that I knew was coming. He chewed it thoughtfully and dinner began.

Dinner passed with only a few more dying animals, several of which were Red-nosed reindeers. 

Just as we were begging to stand up, Eriol and Tomoyo grabbed my arm, and everyone followed us into the Lounge room. Tomoyo threw me onto the floor at the foot of the tree as Eriol threw Syaoran into my back. I braced our weight on my arms as Syaoran rolled off me, blushing. A small black box fell out of his pocket but before I could get a good look at it, he shoved it back, blushing even more. He was about to go attack/main/destroy Eriol when the plump boy shoved a present into his hands.  

I blushed slightly as I realized that Syaoran held the present I had given him. 

He carefully peeled back the wrapping paper and was greeted with a brown box and a card. 

The card read:

"I got you a Christmas card that no other Christmas card says: Be my valentine!

Merry Christmas, Syaoran-kun! I hope you enjoyed the card, present and picture. 

Love, Sakura."

He gave me a quick grin before he flipped over the picture. He gagged.

The picture was a fairly old one. I had had to go searching through my anti-Touya drawers to find it. Touya would have killed me if he knew that I was giving it to Syaoran. It was from when Touya was fifteen. I had come home early from school with a camera Tomoyo had let me borrow for the weekend. I had walked into Touya's room to tell him that I was going to go lie down where I found him in a pink shirt kissing his reflection. Before he realized that I was a spectator, I snapped a photograph and ran. 

Syaoran had a very wicked grin on his face, and although it was kind of scary, it was also incredibly adorable.

Inside the box was a stress ball I had created. I had made a variation from the usual. Eriol's face was shaped into the ball.

"So this is why you've been looking at Eriol a lot lately," Syaoran said in relief.

I grinned up at him and he pecked my cheek. 

"Is that all I get?" I inquired. 

"Mmm." Syaoran agreed before handing me his present. 

It was heavy, so I took great care with unwrapping it. Inside was a dark red jewel. I could feel the care that Syaoran took in making it and the magic that surrounded. 

"I thought I should give you sword lessons," Syaoran whispered in my ear. I threw myself onto him and gave him a kiss. 

The rest of the presents I received included: A new costume from Tomoyo, a Baby name book from Eriol, A novel from Naoko, a miniature mallet from Chiharu and a candle from Yamazaki. 

And then, it was time to say goodbye. 

"Merry Christmas, everyone!" chirped Chiharu as she dragged an unconscious Yamazaki out the door. Naoko followed them; she was getting a ride with Chiharu. Tomoyo was, of course, staying at her house and Eriol was going to stay over. He had decided after much deliberation, that a night alone with Tomoyo was worth a destroyed house when he returned. 

Syaoran and I were going to walk home. Since it was on the way, Syaoran was going to accompany me. We were hoping that Touya hadn't woken up, but Syaoran assured me that he could use the run if he was. 

As we were walking along the street, Syaoran fidgeted. He was nervous about something, though it eluded me as to what it was. He was wringing his hands and every so often he would open his mouth, pause, and then shut it again. 

"Sakura?" he asked finally. 

"Yes?" I replied. 

He opened his mouth, paused, and drew back. "Nothing." 

"If it's nothing, then why are you nervous?" 

His brow furrowed. "It's nothing, really." 

I reached into my bag. My hand ran across the book Eriol had given me. "Syaoran?" 

His head lifted. 

"Are you… are you pregnant?" 

I watched in amusement as Syaoran looked at me in horror. 

"I'm kidding, Syaoran. What's eating you?"

He pondered something, and I almost considered taking a leaf out of Eriol's book and reading his thoughts. 

"I… Can I tell you some other time?" 

I gave him a smile.

"Sure, Syaoran. As soon as you're ready." 

By this point, we were about fifty metres away from my house. Touya seemed to still be out of it, but he may have been waiting for us to pounce. As I watched, his left foot twitched. That could mean anything.

"Do you want to face the horror, or make a dash for it?" 

Syaoran pulled me close to him, took a piece of mistletoe out of his pocket, and kissed me. As we pulled away, I grabbed it out of his hand. Syaoran let it go, knowing that it would be used to torment Touya. 

"Merry Christmas Syaoran."

"You too, Sakura." 

Our paths changed and I ran to my house, knowing the terror that was about to take place. I tucked the Mistletoe into my pocket as I approached Touya. He was still on the ground and drooling slightly. He also seemed to be having difficulty breathing. I prodded his side with my shoe and he twitched away. I rolled him over on his side so he could breathe easier. 

I reached my room to see a note tacked onto my door. It read:

"To Santa. This is my Christmas list:

The Real Magic Pudding. (Not some silly written version)

A Gamecube. 

Several Gamecube games.

Thanks in advance, Santa!

Keroberous, Guardian beast."

I shook my head at Kero's nerve. The stupid beast was without shame. 

I opened my door to be greeted by Kero's snores. I put my bag containing my presents on my desk and took the Mistletoe out of my pocket. I pondered for a minute before picking up the Baby name book as well. I had a really nice picture of Syaoran smiling on my bedside table. I placed the picture on the book and the mistletoe under the frame. 

I hoped Touya saw it. 

Thank you for reading! Give me a little present a review, okay? 

Merry Christmas everyone!


End file.
